“Toxic Masculinity” as defined by Oxford Languages, is “a set of attitudes and ways of behaving stereotypically associated with or expected of men, regarded as having a negative impact on men and on society as a whole.”

As a society, we have different expectations regarding gender roles. Why do some men consider nurturing or emotional traits weak while being aggressive, frustrated, or protective is seen as acceptable? Society, personal ideology, or being raised in a patriarchal family can pressure men into believing they must be strong and fearless, stoic, and emotionless. Toxic masculinity is seen in all domains of life, from home to school, to the workplace. While toxic masculinity may or may not involve misogyny, it is often informed by fundamental misconceptions and biases about gender limitations and beliefs that themselves are borne of stereotypes. Men may conflate assertiveness and confrontation with uncontrolled anger, aggression, or violence. Women may feel that they have toxic male influences in their lives from home to school, to work. To be clear, toxic masculinity is not simply a men’s problem; it is enabled and perpetuated by overly permissive attitudes within multiple levels of society right down to the individual partners and family members. The societal double standards that exist with regards to self-expression and emotionality help maintain an unhealthy status quo that individuals must actively challenge once they recognize their own toxic beliefs and behaviors.

The first step to identifying toxic masculinity is accepting that we are part of the problem and embracing the possibility of change. Your physical size, strength, volume, and aggression can intimidate others and are unhealthy forms of communication.

In our therapy sessions, let’s work together to replace unhealthy or destructive thinking patterns with alternative forms of communication. I will help you implement effective dialogue and influence styles without defaulting to aggression, volume, or intimidation. I can show you how expressing your feelings is a source of strength and not weakness. I will work with you to avoid defensiveness and help you to hear how your actions may have affected others.